Friday, June 6, 2014

7QT: In which I make a confession

1. Hi, my name's Jenny, and I'm an introvert. Cough.

2. If it weren't for the internet, I would go entire days without speaking to anyone outside my immediate family, save for my awkwardly friendly checker at Trader Joe's and the even more awkward interactions I occasionally sustain from my driveway with my neighbors.

3. So when you comment...are you ready for this? IT FILLS MY HEART WITH SO MUCH JOY. Because it's like virtual interaction minus the actual interaction part, y'all. But then...oh, then...the back log. The mounting pressure of having no way to respond to so many (no emails linked to names) or just simply not enough time in the day (kids, work, baby, back episodes of Parenthood on Amazon Prime. Priorities) to reply to every single one and then I get, like, panic-attacky in the dark of night, thinking back over all the lovely, thought provoking and insightful things that people have said and that I HAVE YET TO ACKNOWLEDGE. And I feel bad. Real bad. Because I'm a blogger...and we LIVE for comments. It's like a little kiss from the universe for the effort we put into over-sharing on the internet.

4. So I'm renewing my effort, here and now, to keep more on-top ish of the com box. But...but...if you don't hear from me and you weren't asking a direct question or trying to locate a specific resource, the radio silence you may experience from my end is in no way evidence of my indifference to your virtual attention. I am so grateful for every single comment and every reader this here little blog has. It's just that I also have a mini pack of needlets who are constantly pulling me into the backyard to play baseball or yelling to me about a bodily fluid situation from across the house. And then during the 45 minutes each day that they're (sometimes) all quiet at once? Well, my little introverted heart sighs in blessed relief and I collapse onto the couch and stare vacantly out the window. Or I vacuum. Gosh I love to vacuum...

5. So won't you forgive a mother blogger and her ineptitude in the social media interactivity component of blogging? It's not that I don't care, it's just that I care so much it hurts my brain.

6. And actually, I'm kind of an undercover introvert. If you meet me in real life (I'm looking at you, Edel gals) I'm fairly outgoing-seeming and I like to make people laugh and I can even do a really convincing imitation of a party-loving extrovert, especially with a little liquid courage in my wine glass.

7. But make no mistake. When the sun goes down, I can be found quietly rocking myself back and forth, back and forth (love you forever, like you for always, anyone?) in a dark, quiet room, trying to regain some semblance of mental equilibrium.

Introvert in an extrovert's world up in here.

What about you? I get the feeling sometimes that there are more introverts than extroverts in the blogosphere, just because it's such a natural fit.

Also, I'm an INTJ on the Meyer's Briggs scale. If that helps.

See you at Jen's place.
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p.p.s. Please, please please please consider linking your email to your name in your comment form. It means the world to me when I do have the time and wherewithal to respond because then when I finish tap tapping a little reply email I don't experience that hulking dread when that little 'no-reply at blogger.com' message pops up, indicating to me that I've just spent precious human resources emailing cyberspace and not an actual human. Grace has a great tutorial on how to do this, here.

30 comments:

  1. This extrovert (sanguine phlegmatic totes ESFJ) loves her phlegmatic choleric INTJ friend Jenny! May your heart burst with a comment you don't have to respond to!

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  2. We are kindred spirits, friend!

    And no response needed ;-)

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  3. Me too! Total introvert . . . I am content not speaking to anyone outside my family for days! I am an INFJ.

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  4. INTJ here too! I can pretend-extrovert as well... when I taught my mentor always told me that teaching is like acting. I'm pretty sure my former students would be shocked to know what I am really like.
    I think I linked my name to the address now, but I am a technological dunce, so... I really have no clue.
    And I love your blog, whether you ever respond to any of my little comments or not. I enjoy your perspective.

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  5. #6 is me to a tee. But I dont think I could ever attend a blog conference because that would mean I woukd have to actually speak tpeople I've never spoken to. And don't feel like you HAVE to respond to this comment! :)

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  6. I was laughing at #6 - because being an introvert doesn't mean you aren't the life of the party. It just means that this sort of interaction is very mentally draining for you and you need to crawl into your little introverted hole afterwards and recharge. That's why being a mom of littles is so exhausting for you - it goes against ever fiber of your introverted self. My husband is an introvert also, but he's also very chatty and social when the occasion calls for it. But I can tell the days at work when he has had a lot of meetings or people interaction because he has to go back in our room with the door closed and have some "alone" time before he can rejoin the family. I'm technically an "E" on the Myers-Briggs, but so BARELY that I actually qualify as an "ambivert". Real term.. - look it up!

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    1. ^^you are totally right! The difference is how you feel after a social experience- drained or rejuvenated. After a recent charity dinner where we sat with new people, my husband wanted to invite everyone to go out for drinks (extrovert) and I was ready to get some frozen yogurt and have a quiet ride home (introvert) :)

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    2. Oh, and Jenny, as a fellow mama of littles, I never expect a reply! Ain't nobody got time for that!

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    3. Laura - Exactly!! My husband (introvert) loves to get together with our friends, but he definitely has a time limit! I know when he gives me the high sign that he's done and it's time to head out.

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  7. I can totally relate to this! I am an ISFJ and people are often confused when they discover I'm not an extrovert. I can be very outgoing and chatty but at the end of the day I need some peace and quiet so I don't go crazy. And you're right - comments are the best!

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  8. Just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog! I don't comment very often, but I love reading what you have to say!

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  9. Hi from another INTJ! And another blog stalker! Working fulltime and stalking around when I can doesn't leave me a lot of time to interact. Though I do share a lot of what I read with my sister and my sisters in Christ, and we discuss in person what we impactful to us. I hope we can talk in person at Edel :) that would be more meaningful and probably make me less of stalker! ;)
    You are a great writer with good insights thanks for what you do!

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  10. Oh yes. It's so hard to try telling my extroverted husband that sometimes I just don't have it in me to answer emails, let alone phone calls. I'm also an INTJ... I think. I need to retake the test, because I always forget if I'm that or INFJ.

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  11. I'm really bad at replying to comment as well. Mostly, because I'm not always sure what to say. I definitely understand how it's hard to reply to every single comment. Blogging is such a unique way of communicating with people forming relationships, so it's hard to figure everything out.

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  12. Another introvert here, and I feel the same way about comments!

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  13. ha! i could have written this exact post. back when i posted more regularly, or ahem, ever, i hesitated about putting myself more out there because i didn't know how to handle the communication. do i respond to every comment? none of them? i don't want to leave anyone out that i answered one person and not another. "It's not that I don't care, it's just that I care so much it hurts my brain." yup. and i really don't need one more thing to over think. one of my pending in the brain log of unwritten posts is "awkward on the internets".

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    1. This made me laugh. And you don't have to respond! ;)

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  14. and now i'm tempted to attempt sound effects in comments to simulate sunshine on a blogger's face and little bits of heart happiness. but i think i'd have to say nice/sweet things instead of random bits of weird.

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  15. Don't know if my e-mail is connected or not (for a nearly 3 year blogger I'm pretty clueless about the mechanics of it all), but I don't expect a reply anyway. I'm a grandma who knows needlets grow up all too soon (and all that other stuff folks my age keep saying), so instead of replying, go hug a needlet or two. Just wanted you to know I enjoy your blog!

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  16. #1 Introvert here also
    #2 You don't have to reply to me because you did once and I'm not joking---- made my entire day
    #3 Okay you might want to reply because I'm about to ask you a question
    #4 Have you read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking?
    #5 Isn't Jen Fulwiler also an INTJ?
    #6 How creepy is it that I believe I might have Jen's MBP memorized and it isn't mine because I'm an
    #7 INFP!!! [the dreamer!!! I dream all the things!]

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  17. Popping back in because RIGHT as I posted this, up popped another "me." Hi, other INFP ! :) I, too, dream all the things....

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  18. I am an introvert and totally get it!
    I just wanted to add that if a someone is commenting with a Google+ profile, their email address has to be set to public to not be a noreply@blogger. I just figured that out. I originally had my address linked, but when I merged my blogger profile with my Google+ I became norrply@blogger without realizing it. Of course, I guess it is possible that some people do not want their email address to be public on the Google+ profile, but I do not mind. :)

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    1. Just popping back in to say I was wrong. It is still not fixed. Oh well...

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  19. I too, am a partying introvert.

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  20. I am an extrovert but I have to tell you every time you respond to one of my comments I get super excited!!!! Really it makes my day! So I really don't expect you to respond at all....In fact if you do it to often I may die from shock and excitement!

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  21. Ha! LOVE this and can definitely relate :)

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  22. I'm with you! I live for the one comment I get every couple weeks :) It makes my little introvert heart happy.

    BTW, I'm so glad to have finally found your blog. I was in the small group of FUS students right across the barrier from you and your kids during Papa Benedict's last general audience! Those moments when he blessed your son are forever locked in my mind. My sister told me to read your blog, and as I read back over your last year of posts, I realized I had met you before! Small Catholic world, huh?

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  23. Since Having kids, all I want to do is hunker down and hide...

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Is your email linked to your comment? I'd love to respond to you directly, but I can't if it's not!