Friday, August 10, 2012

7 Quick Takes, the profanity edition

1. The night before last, a skunk sprayed our window AC at 2 am. Have you ever been victim of biological warfare of the most primitive degree?

2. Efffff word.

3. In other neighborhood news, I spent the better part of Tuesday afternoon trying to figure out the origin of the pinging noises and falling debris raining into our backyard whilst Joey splashed innocently and ignorantly in the wading pool. The source? Mexican tweens with bb guns. Shooting at my house. And, consequently, my two small children. We are now sporting a 'bullet hole' in one of our living room windows.

4. And on that note, we're moving today. And not a moment too soon. Armed with trashbags and febreeze aplenty, we're moving 2 miles across town (literally to the other side of the tracks) to an infinitely better zip code and into a slightly more expensive and much, much, much nicer rental house. With a 2 car garage. Perfect for refinishing all manner of Craigslist furniture gems. DIY madness be mine.

5. Moving. With a manic depressive toddler whose two-year molars are erupting, and a sleepless wonder of a 3 month old who is vehemently opposed to not being held every waking hour of his day. Of which there are approximately 17. Pray for us.

6. I dumped an entire glass of H20 on the laptop this morning, screamed a word that rhymes with BumpIt, and ripped off my shirt to mop up the spill. Sending poor, delicate Joey into a fearful panicky fit of sobbing, the likes of which can only be brought on by the sight of one's topless, swearing mother trying desperately to salvage the family's most priceless piece of electronic equipment. If you can read this, it all turned out alright. And Joey will work the rest out in therapy some day.

7. My heroic husband returned from the gym and announced with a wink and a smile that he had a present for me. Then he handed me a pack of Camel 99's and said 'I thought you might be able to use these this weekend.'

Laugh or cry? Still debating...

Happiest of (finally) Fridays. Now go see Jen.

13 comments:

  1. I always heave a sigh of relief to read I'm not the only mom that occasionally drops obscenities or used my shirt as a Sham Wow. Good luck moving this weekend and let the toddler work out his teething agression on that empty Camel's pack.

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  2. I hope you get lots of help moving! Good luck- and congrats on getting out of your current place. Prayers coming your way, I know how crazy it is to move with little people who don't carry their own weight.

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  3. It is only by the grace of God that my kids aren't walking around the 'hood, swearing like a bunch of drunken sailors, what with the sterling example their parents set for them.
    Well, mostly their father. Their mother has much more decorum.
    *snort*

    Shooting BBs at your house? What the hell...?

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  4. any particular reason why you felt the need to mention that the bb shooting tweens were Mexican? Seems racist to me. Like if people aren't white, upper-middle-class, pro-life, mega-catholics like you they don't deserve basic respect.

    your blog is so unlike Jesus it's disgusting.

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    Replies
    1. Mostly due to the fact that they are, you know, Mexican. Perhaps you are familiar with their delicious cuisine and devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe?

      And you're right. Jesus probably did not like coffee. Happy weekend!

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    2. I don't know about you Jenny, but I make it a strict policy of my own to only allow white, upper-middle-class, pro-life, mega-catholic tweens to shoot bb guns at my children and home. Maybe you should think about that next time, lest we risk upsetting "Anonymous" again...

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    3. I don't know about you Jenny, but I make it a strict policy of my own to only allow "white, upper-middle-class, pro-life, meg-catholic" tweens to shoot bb guns at my children and home. Maybe you should think about that next time, lest we risk offending "Anonymous" once again...

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  5. Hahahahhahahahaha! Jenny, you made my day
    :) or maybe it was the Mexicans? Love you!

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  6. Hahhahahaha! Jenny, you made my day! Or, maybent was the Mexicans? Love you!

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  7. Hahahahhahahahaha! Jenny, you made my day
    :) or maybe it was the Mexicans? Love you!

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  8. what a great great great post. terribly great. it brought tears of sympathy and laughter to my eyes! and criticism like the above seems to happen just when your blog is getting great... don't let it get under your skin! no one familiar with your posts and mistaken your devotion to JC. not that you need to hear it from me! - ana

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  9. I'm sorry to be laughing at your pain, but the image of you swearing at the drenched laptop with your little guy wailing next to you just cracked me up!

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  10. i swear, every time you have a major life crisis and blog about it, i end up laughing so hard i cry. i'm sorry - you have been through so much, my friend, but i thank God you are not without your signature sarcasm and sense of humor. you make my hard days seem easy and i miss your face!!!

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