tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post6581629869922992788..comments2023-08-10T08:24:08.460-06:00Comments on Mama Needs Coffee: You are my luxury Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07923751596148085363noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-76194031893495787752015-04-06T11:38:03.717-06:002015-04-06T11:38:03.717-06:00Absolutely. I feel the same-- no matter what I *co...Absolutely. I feel the same-- no matter what I *could* be doing, nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to what only I can give to my children as their mom. It's a great reminder to be so grateful if we are lucky enough to stay at home with them!!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03570694976603693258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-14770872501226206942015-03-23T23:19:47.758-06:002015-03-23T23:19:47.758-06:00So lovely! No matter how a mother goes about provi...So lovely! No matter how a mother goes about providing for her children, it is such a fleeting time that we have them in our daily lives. I have 2 away at college and one with only one year left of high school. It's a quick and beautiful ride...enjoy!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15310438112011620454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-25035512357924751332015-03-21T10:36:23.320-06:002015-03-21T10:36:23.320-06:00You're right and since my husband has been hom...You're right and since my husband has been home with the kids, I've seen him grow as a father, which has been an enormous blessing to our family. It makes my heart swell to see his relationship with our kids deepen every day. That said, it's still hard on me because I travel too - at least 2 overnights every month - and let's be honest here, men don't *quite* take care of the house the way women do. I remember once I was traveling and our twins were 2 years old...my husband called me on my way home and said, "Don't freak out. The house is a disaster, but I kept the kids alive." haha :) Anyway, this is our life and every day I count my blessings and pray for the grace to live out my vocation as mother & wife.Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15598482960973282140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-9957611944306900772015-03-21T09:30:41.544-06:002015-03-21T09:30:41.544-06:00Beautiful as always, Jenny. I totally agree!!!Beautiful as always, Jenny. I totally agree!!!Michele Chronisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328455640818231923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-51878399412603930782015-03-20T15:48:48.911-06:002015-03-20T15:48:48.911-06:00We have some good friends who made this same decis...We have some good friends who made this same decision a number of years ago, because the Mom's career was more sustainable and had more security in the long term than the Dad's. It has worked for them, but knowing them well, I know she misses being there with the kids. She travels a lot for work, even internationally, and I know it's hard on her when she's gone. But she still loves what she does, and it's been the right decision for them as a family. And her husband has done a tremendous job with the kids. You have to do what is best for your family, ultimately. Whatever that may look like! Krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999838147173390906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-68422097035842891692015-03-20T15:43:31.633-06:002015-03-20T15:43:31.633-06:00This encapsulates perfectly how I feel about choos...This encapsulates perfectly how I feel about choosing to leave my job 18 years ago and make enormous financial sacrifices (for the first few years, until we got our feet under us), in order to stay home. I thank God every day for my husband, who works really hard to make that possible for us. And yes, it is also MY luxury, because no matter how much we had to scrimp and save in the beginning, it was still a choice I got to make.Krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999838147173390906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-44614049796924973772015-03-20T14:55:55.840-06:002015-03-20T14:55:55.840-06:00I just want to say - we shouldn't assume worki...I just want to say - we shouldn't assume working moms having working husbands. I'm a working mom because, for many reasons which I will not go into, my husband is SAHD. I am my children's mother, so even though they're home with 1 parent, and that is the ideal, I still have the same heart ache to leave them every day because no one loves their children like their own mother. I feel women like me, who are providing the sole source of income for our family, are overlooked in the working mom/SAHM debate. Please pray for me and I'll pray for all of you ;)Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15598482960973282140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-13156558169144520452015-03-20T14:31:47.131-06:002015-03-20T14:31:47.131-06:00This was beautifully written, and it hits the nail...This was beautifully written, and it hits the nail right on the head, Liz. Thank you. KJLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10144013591506102232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-32894025683320743672015-03-20T14:28:19.349-06:002015-03-20T14:28:19.349-06:00Here, Here!Here, Here!KJLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10144013591506102232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-84379694884685219912015-03-20T14:26:25.896-06:002015-03-20T14:26:25.896-06:00This is exactly right: "no matter what, '...This is exactly right: "no matter what, 'motherhood,' in any form, is not a luxury."<br />No, motherhood is a vocation, like other holy vocations, that call us to die to ourselves, give ourselves over to the other for their sake. And that is why it is honorable. Thank you for saying this right out loud, Molly.KJLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10144013591506102232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-85054175573642715842015-03-20T11:43:51.199-06:002015-03-20T11:43:51.199-06:00Many Thanks for this insightful, thought-provoking...Many Thanks for this insightful, thought-provoking article. My personal pet peeve is when people make the whole working mother vs. SAHM debate all boil down to money. It's a radical oversimplification of the challenges which are unique to parenthood. When I was pregnant with my son, my 90-year-old grandmother sat me down and explained to me that one of the things she learned years ago is that ALL mothers experience sorrow and joy in equal measure, and that there's just no escaping that fact. Now, she raised her children in poverty and in rural Italy, without many of the advantages of modern medicine. She even had to bury two children. I didn't fully understand her remark at the time-- I was so young and naive, and the life she led seemed so far removed from what I thought would be my lot as a modern American mom.<br /><br />Years later, I was a stay-at-home mother to my son, and-- thanks be to God-- able to do so without any major financial sacrifice. That said, he has no fewer than three chronic, incurable medical disorders. I used to be in a Ph.D program part-time and had to drop out for good when my boy's health went into a sharper decline. I know the sorrow of having to witness him suffering to some degree or other on a regular basis, without being able to do much of anything about it because, when it comes right down to it, no amount of $ can insulate any of us from suffering. None of us is able to avoid the cross-- not the working mothers busting their behinds to contribute financially for their family's upkeep, not the rich parents, not the poor ones, not the ones with 10 kids or the ones with a single child. Being a parent means that you chose to bring into the world someone you love more than you do yourself, and when you do that, you open up your heart to a lot of joy, yes....but also a lot of grief. It's taken many years, but I finally realize just how right my grandmother was.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12915736625002309692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-16550523613582253372015-03-20T11:02:52.902-06:002015-03-20T11:02:52.902-06:00I feel like a lot of the pushback on the original ...I feel like a lot of the pushback on the original article was from the sense that the <i>choice</i> to stay home, in our society that treats humans as worthless unless they're bringing in itemizable monetary benefits, is really a luxury. In other words, being a stay at home mom is not a luxury. But being able to choose anything, rather than being compelled by immediate life circumstances and need, is a luxury or at least a stroke of uncommon good luck. I think that's not universally true but it is certainly true for many. For me, working from home is the luxury. I think I am absurdly lucky to have finagled this life style somehow. And I think your personal sense that being with your children and raising them is more valuable than anything else you could be doing is really sensible -- I mean people need to work and some people do very valuable work. But I think it's fair to say that for most people, in most life circumstances, having kids will be the most meaningful thing they do. <br /><br />On the other hand, I feel bad calling my kids a luxury. That implies "unnecessary" or "optional" or "lifestyle choice" to me. I feel like they're really just a blessing. That means I feel super lucky to have them but not that I consider them optional in any way, if that makes sense. LIke they are both necessary and not guaranteed. Or something. Not that everyone needs to have kids to have meaning in life. But just that parenthood is so fundamental to the human condition that framing it as a luxury is so weird. On the other hand, for all of time kids have been a very dear thing -- both in terms of their value to humans and in terms of the riskiness and sacrifice required to raise them.Tiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12464171818759850598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-74948382745832359692015-03-20T08:09:28.327-06:002015-03-20T08:09:28.327-06:00This was beautiful and had me sobbing! Thanks for ...This was beautiful and had me sobbing! Thanks for your perspective. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09854740757164458401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-80505311012950775602015-03-20T07:48:32.488-06:002015-03-20T07:48:32.488-06:00Catholic school teachers SHOULD be paid boatloads ...Catholic school teachers SHOULD be paid boatloads of money! Ellen Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01282413486073228102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-47290138565518281752015-03-20T06:43:36.526-06:002015-03-20T06:43:36.526-06:00Beautifully said. Thank you for reaffirming what ...Beautifully said. Thank you for reaffirming what I know in my heart but sometimes have a hard time digesting when I am stuck in the weeds of keeping 4 little ones alive and well....Mary Ann W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14540561808436513252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-75547106024937031122015-03-20T06:02:23.904-06:002015-03-20T06:02:23.904-06:00I loved my days at home with the kids - and I long...I loved my days at home with the kids - and I long to be able to do it again. I'm happy for all you moms who can stay at home and scrimp and save to make that happen. We're all sacrificing one way or another to give our kids what they need. I just wish Catholic schoolteachers (like my hubby) got paid boatloads of money :)Colleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11451797365712728579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-26345938775874978192015-03-19T21:44:43.018-06:002015-03-19T21:44:43.018-06:00Lindsay I read your comment before it disappeared ...Lindsay I read your comment before it disappeared and I just wanted to thank you for being bold enough to share your heart, and that I'm sorry if this caused you additional pain in the reading. I know my friends who leave their hearts at home struggle with it, and that it's a real and indescribable pain to balance work you love (or need) and children you long to be with. I meant every word of this, that staying home with them *is* a luxury, and that I need to personally foster more of an attitude of thanksgiving that I'm able to do so. I just wanted to offer another perspective on the "kids are so expensive and they need lots of stuff" or "you must be loaded because you're able to stay at home with them" narrative. Of course there are other reasons, but those are two that are getting lots of airtime this week.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07923751596148085363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-2483199243222079142015-03-19T20:55:45.808-06:002015-03-19T20:55:45.808-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17723785936790668961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-83332670465982211222015-03-19T20:24:01.466-06:002015-03-19T20:24:01.466-06:00Yes to all of this!! As a part time working mom, ...Yes to all of this!! As a part time working mom, (2 days/week) at a job I love, I still prefer to be home. My kids most definitely are my luxury. And when I hear my coworkers talking about their Caribbean vacations and new cars (neither of which I have nor will have anytime soon!), I think "that sounds lovely but not nearly as lovely as kissing my babies' smooshy cheeks and reading with my 5 year old". My day to day is luxurious. So luxurious. Ashley Castohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12989775950453559631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-16218368273402639362015-03-19T17:54:02.420-06:002015-03-19T17:54:02.420-06:00Stay at home, work from home, work away from home,...Stay at home, work from home, work away from home, simple job, prestigious career, no matter what "motherhood" in any form is not a luxury.... in the end it's just an honor to be their mother and an honor to be able to discern the right course to best care for our families. =)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17904858990740505588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-49621557805368344092015-03-19T16:59:28.847-06:002015-03-19T16:59:28.847-06:00Thank you for your post. This is a good reminder. ...Thank you for your post. This is a good reminder. I have worked and stayed home, you are right both are hard. I love being home and sometimes I need to be reminded that I am very lucky. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02463849400203060771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-84190178132801295082015-03-19T16:38:26.202-06:002015-03-19T16:38:26.202-06:00Well said. I always feel uncomfortable when this ...Well said. I always feel uncomfortable when this debate comes up because yes, we have made sacrifices and specific choices in order for me to stay home, but I also do feel so lucky to be at home with my kids. This is what I dreamed of during the 4 years when I taught other people's kids. I love being home with my babies every day. Ellen Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01282413486073228102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1669762298855511295.post-49362717578254551602015-03-19T15:43:07.878-06:002015-03-19T15:43:07.878-06:00This is lovely, thanksThis is lovely, thanksAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12841896917157596550noreply@blogger.com